Just one of those weeks...

Have you ever had one of those weeks where you're just completely confused and depressed over nothing, anything and everything? This week has been that kind of week for me. Not really sure why, but it has. I'm really just so tired of the everyday blah crap I have to deal with and would really like to step back and just relax. Unfortunately, this will not happen for a few weeks, if even then. My husband informed me this week that (whether I like it or not) we will be buying our house. This development scares the crap out me and I'm just not up to thinking about it. Plus, it seems like the older I get the more and more I'm compared to other people in my life. (Yes, unfortunately for me I'm getting compared to the "perfect" ones) For once, just once I wish someone would just say, "Good job, you're perfect just the way you are." But you and I both know this will never happen. Some of these feelings are probably just my own insecurities, but hey, I am a woman, I do have them. Oh well. Just one of those things. Well, I guess I have belly-ached enough. Thanks to anyone who actually reads this, although honestly, its just a place I can get some frustration out, w/out the nasty side effect of hurting any feelings, for which then I feel horrid about.

Irritating...

Ok so, as we all know we are smack-dab in the middle of tax season. I work at a CPA's office. I.E., my life is INSANE right now. Plus when you add that I am playing driver for my sister and her kids everyday, so for the last 2 week s I've been working 4 9hr days, a 7hr day, PLUS at least a 5hr Saturday! This week I have 48 1/2hrs! Just wanted to give you a tiny insight.
So Saturday night when we get home from Mom & Dad's house my Mom calls @ 10:01pm. Very odd, so I call her right back. She tells me that my 53yr old cousin had a mild heart attack. He had a cath done and actually came home Wed. So I'm assuming that everything is fine, haven't heard anything weird and was planning on going over to see them this weekend AFTER I get off work Sat. Last night I find out that they are now pissed at me b/c I haven't been over and haven't called. Ok, I admit, I should have called, but figured that everyone was just a little on edge and really didn't feel like talking. Oh, did I mention that my cousin's best friend was down until Wed as well? You have to know that these are the cousins who I can't ever figure out if they like me or not. Honestly, the longest I've been in the same room w/them in last 2 yrs was at Christmas for about 30 min talking. Generally when I walk over from my mom's house they are back in their room and don't come out OR if they are in the living room, go back to their room. I've told you before my family IS NOT a happy, huggy family. You're lucky to get a passing Hi! So now I have people pissed at me when I thought I was doing the right thing by leaving them alone until things calmed down some. OH YEAH! Did I mention that I don't even get home until 6pm every night & then have to fix dinner, wash clothes, & try to wash dishes since the plumbing in our house is going crazy. The bathtub is VERY slow to drain & if you wash anything in the kitchen it backs up in the bathtub. Great right? Then you add in the fact I'm worrying about how to come up with the $ we owe for taxes $600! to the state plus we're doing estimated tax pymts of $500 every qtr. Which adds up to me getting together $1100 before April 15th.
So on the off chance that my cousins do read this (which I believe is HIGHLY unlikely) I'm sorry that you felt I didn't care about you and what was going on. I do and did! I just figured ya'll might want some quiet time together and since let's face it ya'll aren't exactly nice to my mom (who YES!!!! I know is a difficult woman, better than ANY of you will know) I didn't tell her to tell ya'll anything cause I wasn't sure if you were speaking to her. But DON'T worry, from now on any and every little blip that happens I'll just come running & when I bug the CRAP out of you by being around when you just want to spend time as a "close" family, ya'll can then explain to me that you appreciate the enthusiasm, but would like to be left alone.
Ok, I got all that out, but still feel like crap because I just don't like having people angry w/me, probably something to do with that whole abusive ex thing. You know, that kinda thing sticks with a person for the rest of their lives. (BTW...don't think I ever got ANY kind of comfort, phone call, email or even a freaking smoke signal when I finally told everyone what had been going on? Hmmm....Interesting don't ya think?)

The season is starting...

What season? you may ask. Well, tax season! As some of you know, I'm a bookkeeper @ an accountant's office and this time of the year is pretty insane. Reminds me of the beginning of the semesters @ the health center. CRAZY! Its kind of fun though. Ok, well I just wanted to check in w/everyone! Love, Hugs & LOTS of KISSES!!!!

Curl up with a Book and a Nook! Contest

Christmas 2009

Wow! Christmas is gone already! Can't believe it, New Years is right around the corner! So many new things have happened this year w/the wedding and new babies coming along. Our family just keeps on growing. I hope everyone had a wonderful and safe holiday season and I pray that it continues thru the next year! Love you all!

What in the world?

Have you ever just asked the question "What in the world?" You know, the one where you just stand/sit there with this completely confused look on your face? I have been asking myself this question very regularly the last few days. And I'm sure the face has accompanied it many times. I completely understand that things happen in your life that you have NO control over. So that is not the purpose of the question, but why just because I do not agree to something does that automatically put me at fault? Times like these are when I truly have to remember that no matter how wonderful people are, we (YES! I say "we" because I myself am guily as well, I do not believe myself above reproach), and I mean humans in general, are selfish. We can be very sympathetic to others needs and wants, but very often we want our own needs and wants met first. I also understand (better than a lot of people) that not all families get along all the time. My own blood family is a very good example. Those who I do have frequent contact with, as well as those I never see. I mean I have 2 half-brothers that I did not meet until my dad's funeral, obviously we are not close, one of which decided to say some less than attractive things about my mom, which of course "upset" me greatly. True I was only 13 but hey, I can blame grabbing a baseball bat and starting to go after him largely on grief, right? I know that I am rambling, but that is what this thing is for anyway, right? I am the type of person who take pretty much what ever kind of abuse you want to put to me. I've dealt with it most of my life, so this is nothing new. BUT...when you start upsetting my husband and my sister, who also happens to be one of my best friends, we have a problem. Both of these people are fiercely loyal to those who they love. And much like me, will take whatever you want to put on them. But both are also very tender-hearted at certain times and ESPECIALLY when it comes from certain people. I just feel very bad that just because I make a decision that is good for me that I should be blamed for it!!! But OH WELL, I don't have "actual" children, I only have dogs so I should just be able to do what anyone wants me to do. Ok, sorry I'm getting snippy and I'm sorry if this hurts anyone's feelings, but you know what, I've had mine hurt a lot and I'm still alive. But again, I'm sorry if it hurts feelings, I would never do this purposely, but do feel that I am inclined to my own opinion and should be able to express it in my personal blog.

A Wedding!

Yes, we had a wedding. Not mine of course that was almost 4 yrs ago, but our cousin Paul married his sweetheart of a fiance Allyson. It was a very sweet simple wedding held at the Gazebo in Danielsville. True to Newbury fashion, the wedding didn't start at 5, but somewhere around 5:30 or 5:45. The cd player we had to play the music wouldn't play the burnt cd, so we had to use Mom & Dad's Volvo to play the music. Which is really quite amusing, but like we all said, at least it was a Volvo and not a big 4x4 truck! It really was a fun night and I hope everyone else had as good a time as I did.

Neal and I have seriously been trying to get ourselves back into church and it is something that we are committing ourselves to doing. And NO we're not doing this so that everyone will look at us and say "Oh, look at them going to church, they're being so good." This is something that we are doing for ourselves and our family. Neal is struggling w/some things and he is praying daily that God will give him the strength he needs to overcome. Both of us know that we do not want to stay on the path that we are on now and have decided that now is a time for change. We have both been saved for a very long time, I was 8 and I believe he was around the same age. Unfortunately, we have just not been living the way we should. One thing that both of us are praying daily for help with is our language. If you do not and have never cussed, then I admire you. But this is something that both of us struggle with and we have decided that it is time to stop. Ok, thats just a bit of what has been happening, so I'll leave w/a few pics from the wedding and reception.