Tuesday, November 17, 2009

What in the world?

Have you ever just asked the question "What in the world?" You know, the one where you just stand/sit there with this completely confused look on your face? I have been asking myself this question very regularly the last few days. And I'm sure the face has accompanied it many times. I completely understand that things happen in your life that you have NO control over. So that is not the purpose of the question, but why just because I do not agree to something does that automatically put me at fault? Times like these are when I truly have to remember that no matter how wonderful people are, we (YES! I say "we" because I myself am guily as well, I do not believe myself above reproach), and I mean humans in general, are selfish. We can be very sympathetic to others needs and wants, but very often we want our own needs and wants met first. I also understand (better than a lot of people) that not all families get along all the time. My own blood family is a very good example. Those who I do have frequent contact with, as well as those I never see. I mean I have 2 half-brothers that I did not meet until my dad's funeral, obviously we are not close, one of which decided to say some less than attractive things about my mom, which of course "upset" me greatly. True I was only 13 but hey, I can blame grabbing a baseball bat and starting to go after him largely on grief, right? I know that I am rambling, but that is what this thing is for anyway, right? I am the type of person who take pretty much what ever kind of abuse you want to put to me. I've dealt with it most of my life, so this is nothing new. BUT...when you start upsetting my husband and my sister, who also happens to be one of my best friends, we have a problem. Both of these people are fiercely loyal to those who they love. And much like me, will take whatever you want to put on them. But both are also very tender-hearted at certain times and ESPECIALLY when it comes from certain people. I just feel very bad that just because I make a decision that is good for me that I should be blamed for it!!! But OH WELL, I don't have "actual" children, I only have dogs so I should just be able to do what anyone wants me to do. Ok, sorry I'm getting snippy and I'm sorry if this hurts anyone's feelings, but you know what, I've had mine hurt a lot and I'm still alive. But again, I'm sorry if it hurts feelings, I would never do this purposely, but do feel that I am inclined to my own opinion and should be able to express it in my personal blog.