It's getting that time!

Good morning all! I hope that Halloween was safe and fun for everyone! I realized this morning that almost all of the posts I've made on this blog have been negative and mainly just a place for me to vent out my frustrations, so I decided to explain myself just a bit. First of all, I am NOT a negative person. Well, not any more than anyone else I know. If it seems like all I do (or anyone else does on their personal blog) is complain, gripe, fuss and vent, well...sorry! For me this is my therapeutic outlet. That is the best thing about the internet. For the most part it is a nameless, faceless entity that you can just rail at without the reprocussions of backlash. Understand that most of the things I've said on here, I cannot say to the actual people in my life that have upset me. You see I do not like knowing that anyone is mad at me and tend to almost make myself sick to make everyone happy again. Plus I understand that things happen in waves. If one person says something hateful to me and instead of turning the other cheek and walking away, I blast right back at them, odds are someone Else is going to get hurt or uspet. Yes, I am one of those disgusting people who tries to be the peacemaker. Sick, right? LOL Anyway, I just wanted to give a simple explaination for my comments and hope that you understand me just a little bit better now! Love to you all!

This is me, take me or leave me

As my title indicates, this post is about me. The true me and how I feel. If it offends you, I'm sorry, but that is the wonderful thing about the Internet, there is this Wonderful little thing at the top right-hand corner called and "X" or close button. Click it if you don't like what I'm saying. So without further adu:

I am a person, I'm a woman. I am not a republican, democrat or liberal. I do not follow politics because All of them say what you want to hear & Not what they will do. I am a Christian. I believe in God and speak to him on a daily basis. I believe that he loves ALL people whether you a gay, straight, black, white, yellow, purple, blue or pink (I believe that includes Everyone, don't you?). I love my husband to No end and truly believe he is my one and true soul mate. I believe in the sanctity of marriage, But believe that for some it is Much better to end that. To some marriage is a contract, easily signed and almost equally as easy to break. This, in my PERSONAL opinion, is YOUR choice. Those who are "Christians" (I say this with quotations because we all know people who say they are but DO NOT portray ANY actions to support this) who say "you are married, you stay married No matter what". I say if this is what you think GREAT! But I do not believe that it is right for you to judge someone else. You HAVE NOT lived in their shoes and DO NOT know what goes on in their lives. I Do not begin to say that I am the Best Christian in the world, I'm not, I'm a sinner just like Everyone else! Therefore because I am NOT God, I DO NOT judge others for anything. I believe that is God's place to judge and I'm NOT about to try and do his job. I am not writing this to try and change anyone, I understand that each and every one of us is different and some will just get mad and want to bash me. I say go ahead if this makes you feel better. I'm not going to take offense and probably honestly will not read what you say. We all have this wonderful thing called "Free Will" meaning we have the ability to make our own decisions and actions. But for those few who read this and see that they have mistakenly judged someone for their actions, looks, color, orientation, and unfortunately for even the color of nail polish or length of their finger nails. I say take a minute. Think about the times someone has wrongfully judged you for something so inconspicuous and think about how you felt at that time. Go ahead..............Feels pretty bad, doesn't it? Not fun at all. So I challenge you to look past outward appearances and look to the true heart of people. I'll even give you a hint, look in their eyes. Most people cannot hide their true feelings thru their eyes. I promise you if you do this for just ONE person, you will notice a change in yourself. And more importantly a better one. So God Bless and I truly hope each and everyone of you have a wonderful day!

Baffled...

I am truly baffled by some people. I can't go into details in any way shape or form, but needless to say a friend of mine is going thru a very hard time right now and the ex is only making matters worse on her. Why is it that some people can truly lie to your face that they want you to be happy, but under it all they don't. Nevermind the fact that said person has had someone on the side for a bit and it has progressed. Truly, undeniably crazy. And no this isn't about me or Neal, we are fine, I promise. I just hate to see someone I love going thru so much crap for nothing. Also how can someone who has known you on a very intimate level for a very long time no truly know you? I know EXACTLY how Neal would/does react to almost anything that happens. Although maybe thats just us and we share things w/each other a lot more. Don't know, and at this point, don't care except for there are so many other people and factors in this that its really going to messy when it blows. And yes, I say "when" not "if", because its going to and very soon, and I might not like it, but I might end up hurting someone's feelings.

Book-aholic

Yes, its true, my name is Chandra, and I'm a book-aholic! Or maybe its reading-aholic...well you get the idea. Just to give you an idea, I have read a total of 8 books in the last 5 days. And we aren't talking tiny little 150 page books, I'm talking 300 or more pages each! Neal picks on me and tells me that I have a serious problem. I read everything from thrillers (like Demon Seed by Deen Kootz, my current I started this morning) to very, um, sexy books (like Sydney Croft, which is a paranormal erotic series and is AMAZING!!!!). I seriously could turn our house into a library, except that I don't like to loan my books out, because then what if I don't get the back? Oh the tragedy! Anyway, sorry about the melodramatics. Now with this being said, I do not like every book I read. I generally know if I'm going to personally like a book in the 1st 3 chapters. For a while I would only make myself finish the 1st chapter, but I've decided sometimes a book does take until the 3rd chapter and sometimes even past to really get going. But unfortunately, if you don't get me in those 1st 3, well good chance that its going in the box to go to NE GA Bookstand in Commerce, its a used book store that takes trade ins for store credit. Of which I have about $150 paranormal and $90 regular and I haven't been in a while.

So because reading is such a huge part of my life, I've decided to start blogging about the weekly books in my life. Who knows, maybe this could help someone out there who wasn't sure about a book, you really never know. And since I read so much anyway, I might as well talk about it to someone other than Neal and the dogs, although Daisy does seem to enjoy it sometimes. lol

So I mentioned the Sydney Croft books, I got the last 2 that are out and both of them are really amazing. Now be warned, these are erotic books, the sex scenes are not for the faint of heart. But unlike some others I've read, it actually does tie into the plot of the books. Not just a bunch of people humping each other they've never met in a dark alley or anything (and YES I've had a couple that did just that). The series is about an organization that takes in "gifted" people. These people have some sort of a paranormal gift and they use it for good. Like trying to stop an evil organization from destroying the world.

Lover Mine by J.R. Ward was another biggy this week. It is from the Black Dagger Brotherhood series and just might be my favorite in the series so far, but I say that everytime I read a new one. LOL Quick set up is vampires, Huge Gorgeous men in leather that aren't afraid to get dirty,...mmmm...ahhhh...oh sorry mind wandered a little. Again, the sexual content is a little on the strong side, so I definitely wouldn't recommend these for people who like more lovey-dovey scenes, not that theres anything wrong w/those.

Uhmm...Whispered Lies and Silent Truth from the BAD series by Sherrilyn Kenyon (yes, she may just be my favorite author of them all) and Dianna Love. This is a series about a secret government agency whose only focus is keeping America safe, by any means necessary, and I do mean ANY! These actually would be very good for women or men. Lots of action and fighting, plus a couple of steamy scenes that are definitely steamy, but not way too out there.

Ok, I think thats all for now, but I'll try my best to come back soon and give ya'll a few more reviews! Love ya'll and Thanks so much to all the writers I've mentioned, you keep me completely entertained!

Just one of those weeks...

Have you ever had one of those weeks where you're just completely confused and depressed over nothing, anything and everything? This week has been that kind of week for me. Not really sure why, but it has. I'm really just so tired of the everyday blah crap I have to deal with and would really like to step back and just relax. Unfortunately, this will not happen for a few weeks, if even then. My husband informed me this week that (whether I like it or not) we will be buying our house. This development scares the crap out me and I'm just not up to thinking about it. Plus, it seems like the older I get the more and more I'm compared to other people in my life. (Yes, unfortunately for me I'm getting compared to the "perfect" ones) For once, just once I wish someone would just say, "Good job, you're perfect just the way you are." But you and I both know this will never happen. Some of these feelings are probably just my own insecurities, but hey, I am a woman, I do have them. Oh well. Just one of those things. Well, I guess I have belly-ached enough. Thanks to anyone who actually reads this, although honestly, its just a place I can get some frustration out, w/out the nasty side effect of hurting any feelings, for which then I feel horrid about.

Irritating...

Ok so, as we all know we are smack-dab in the middle of tax season. I work at a CPA's office. I.E., my life is INSANE right now. Plus when you add that I am playing driver for my sister and her kids everyday, so for the last 2 week s I've been working 4 9hr days, a 7hr day, PLUS at least a 5hr Saturday! This week I have 48 1/2hrs! Just wanted to give you a tiny insight.
So Saturday night when we get home from Mom & Dad's house my Mom calls @ 10:01pm. Very odd, so I call her right back. She tells me that my 53yr old cousin had a mild heart attack. He had a cath done and actually came home Wed. So I'm assuming that everything is fine, haven't heard anything weird and was planning on going over to see them this weekend AFTER I get off work Sat. Last night I find out that they are now pissed at me b/c I haven't been over and haven't called. Ok, I admit, I should have called, but figured that everyone was just a little on edge and really didn't feel like talking. Oh, did I mention that my cousin's best friend was down until Wed as well? You have to know that these are the cousins who I can't ever figure out if they like me or not. Honestly, the longest I've been in the same room w/them in last 2 yrs was at Christmas for about 30 min talking. Generally when I walk over from my mom's house they are back in their room and don't come out OR if they are in the living room, go back to their room. I've told you before my family IS NOT a happy, huggy family. You're lucky to get a passing Hi! So now I have people pissed at me when I thought I was doing the right thing by leaving them alone until things calmed down some. OH YEAH! Did I mention that I don't even get home until 6pm every night & then have to fix dinner, wash clothes, & try to wash dishes since the plumbing in our house is going crazy. The bathtub is VERY slow to drain & if you wash anything in the kitchen it backs up in the bathtub. Great right? Then you add in the fact I'm worrying about how to come up with the $ we owe for taxes $600! to the state plus we're doing estimated tax pymts of $500 every qtr. Which adds up to me getting together $1100 before April 15th.
So on the off chance that my cousins do read this (which I believe is HIGHLY unlikely) I'm sorry that you felt I didn't care about you and what was going on. I do and did! I just figured ya'll might want some quiet time together and since let's face it ya'll aren't exactly nice to my mom (who YES!!!! I know is a difficult woman, better than ANY of you will know) I didn't tell her to tell ya'll anything cause I wasn't sure if you were speaking to her. But DON'T worry, from now on any and every little blip that happens I'll just come running & when I bug the CRAP out of you by being around when you just want to spend time as a "close" family, ya'll can then explain to me that you appreciate the enthusiasm, but would like to be left alone.
Ok, I got all that out, but still feel like crap because I just don't like having people angry w/me, probably something to do with that whole abusive ex thing. You know, that kinda thing sticks with a person for the rest of their lives. (BTW...don't think I ever got ANY kind of comfort, phone call, email or even a freaking smoke signal when I finally told everyone what had been going on? Hmmm....Interesting don't ya think?)

The season is starting...

What season? you may ask. Well, tax season! As some of you know, I'm a bookkeeper @ an accountant's office and this time of the year is pretty insane. Reminds me of the beginning of the semesters @ the health center. CRAZY! Its kind of fun though. Ok, well I just wanted to check in w/everyone! Love, Hugs & LOTS of KISSES!!!!