Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Thanksgiving...& why I'm NOT a fan

Hello, Good Morning, whatever you use as a early day greeting. I thought I would share a few things so that if you are maybe in the same situation you will know that its OK to NOT like a holiday.
First of all, YES I am VERY freaking thankful for all that I have! Uh, DUH! But sometimes things happen & it really just ruins things for you. Example: I am NOT a fan of Thanksgiving. Why? You may ask. Well Thanksgiving was the first HOLIDAY that we had AFTER my grandmother passed away as well as the first holiday after my grandfather passed away. Now you may be asking yourself, Why in the hell should that matter? Well you see I never saw my grandmother on my dad's side & never met my paternal grandfather (he died before I was born). So my maternal grandmother was the ultimate Matriarch of our family. Every Thanksgiving she would start cooking everything on the Monday of that week. And 8 times out of 10 I was there simply because school was out & I was relegated to my grandparents house almost anytime school was out. Now yea at the time I hated not being able to see friends, but now I'm very grateful for those times making pies & cookies & cakes. So you see because EVERY SINGLE THANKSGIVING up until 1997 I was with MY GRANDMOTHER! Therefore every blasted year I am reminded of that first thanksgiving without her & how no matter how great of a cook ANYONE else is, NO ONE is EVER going to measure up, myself especially. So that is MY reason as to why I just don't like Thanksgiving (we won't even begin to go into how EVERYONE generally makes me feel like a fool for my own thoughts & feelings).

Now you may be saying, OK that is a plausible reason, well I'm about to hit you with another...I'm not really a fan of Christmas anymore either. Now STOP before you grab your bible & come running in to try & exorcise the demon that has most definitely taken me over (already had someone try to "exorcise" me when I was younger & NO unfortunately I'm not joking AT ALL), I have a very good & plausible reason for this as well. In 1995 my family moved to the area I live in now, very tough stuff for a 13 yr old, believe me. Well exactly 6 months to the day (Dec 30th) after we moved, my dad passed away. So you know what that means? Yes Christmas was the last holiday that I spent with him. And you see my dad was one of those crazy rednecks everyone always makes fun of for having a million lights strung everywhere all over their house & yard! Seriously I think he would have put lights on my dog if he could have. So the entire holiday (& I'm talking about the commercial side of it, decorating & getting everyone together whether they want to or not & all that crap) just doesn't hold any joy for me anymore, simply because I'm reminded that I no longer have him here.
So there is my personal reasoning as to why I'm NOT a nice or happy person during this time of the year (we will not talk about the stress of money & trying to buy nice gifts for people & trying to pay bills). Now I can say I don't care if you think I'm crazy or whatever else, you know my reasoning & I think if I'm supposed to accept you & your weirdness (whatever that may be) then you should have to accept mine at least I have a plausible reason for my gloominess.

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